Whispers

Confessions of a Frequent Lurker

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 22:04:18 GMT

When life goes bad for long stretches, I have a tendency to lurk so I’m not talking about doom, gloom, poor me, and all about me all the time. Nobody likes that, including me.

When health goes bad for long stretches, writing people directly gets a lot harder and I only do it on the upswings, which are unpredictable at best.

When things are super hectic at work, I also tend to talk less, because no time, no energy, I collapse into bed when the pile is done.

When I know I’m working on something highly visible, I tend not to talk because I’m worried I’ll be judged if I’m behind because there wasn’t enough brainpower/energy to do that but I managed a post on my blog.

That said, I’m working on MFD matching, crazy amount of stuff at work, and my worldbuildex fic, which is due. Tomorrow.

Yeah, not my finest week. But I’m gonna try to stop letting guilt stop me from ever saying anything because I miss people and it’s easier to keep going and not feeling unproductive and useless (often a self-fulfilling prophecy) if I stay emotionally up and talking to people. Just not writing for them.

I apologize everyone whose fic is on hold until after BSD Spring Fling and Multifandom Drabble. Soon.

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State of the Scribbler

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 14:57:03 GMT

I think I’m going to write myself a letter like I was signing up for an exchange with the stories I want myself to write so I can read them. Because I want to write original short stories this year and I’ve written one out of seven weeks and it was for an exchange.

Speaking of exchanges, there are now three original fiction exchanges! I’m just going to do veonat’s in the fall. I wrote Shelter for the last one.

I’m trying out Canva for online graphic design and really am going to settle down and get back to publishing and also start packaging up the monthly inventory in PDFs I think. I have a ko-fi now where the poetry will go once I get some finished and I have covers done for a month or two.

Also, on things I run:

Multifandom Drabble is starting up nominations for round 1 on Sunday, the 24th.

Conlang is a post-imzy site for the conlang comm I started there. I haven’t been conlanging much, but I post the daily posts and am trying to get back on the pony of maybe at least putting what I’ve got in a lexicon spreadsheet.

I handed off Multifandom Tropefest to longficmod, who was my co-mod first round and ended up taking it over when my grandmother died while it was running. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever even participate in this fest as my associations with it are all terrible.

I’m considering running (somebody stop me) an exchange where you can throw in your original fiction, comics, or art as fandoms and request fanwork. Like the usual remix though, it wouldn’t be a proper exchange. You get to specify NSFW and medium of the fanwork in your request but nothing else really. It’d match on genre, warnings, rating, and medium. I don’t know. Been noodling in my head. I really shouldn’t run this.

Just a bunch of different thoughts. I’ve got so many stories in progress it’s scary. I’m behind on talking to people. My crossposting is terribly behind. But I’m starting to feel human a bit, despite being exhausted and pushing at work enough that I came home yesterday and just wanted to cry rather than work anymore. And I have so much to do there. I’ve got a nasty bug with too many potential permutations and it’s still not quantified. I was supposed to clear out several columns on the bug board and didn’t succeed at that at all.

I’ve been trying, just trying, a new legume and grain free diet, which is anti-inflammatory, a chronic problem of mine, seeing as I have both sciatica and tendonitis, and I’ve been thinking clearer and dragging less and able to do things and I really hope it’s not the diet because it’s hard. I have enough food allergies that not eating any beans and grains is actually a problem sometimes. But it’s good to feel human, so we’ll just have to see how it all turns out.

Hope you all are doing well!

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Chocolate Box 2017 Letter

Sun, 14 Jan 2018 20:41:40 GMT

Thank you, kind creator, for whatever you make for me! I’m so excited about these relationships and fandoms, and despite the (hopefully helpful) wall of text, I’m not generally that picky. I like canon relationship dynamics (angry, angsty people who never talk about their feelings still don’t talk about their feelings even in a fluffy scenario), and canon worldbuilding details and seeing how those mesh with whatever new scenarios you come up with.

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