Fair enough, and I'm predisposed to not see it because the few kids I've been exposed to ARE in that range of intelligence.
And like I said, showed what was happening to him, NOT his thoughts. This was not a close POV piece and that makes a big difference. I showed the world from his position, not his perspective. He does not understand all of it, as noted several times.
And if they know if they scream, mom comes, why wouldn't they know if they holler mentally, aunt comes? (they grew up with mindreading) And I've seen plenty of kids that age want a food item they knew to ask the adult for when said food wasn't at hand.
I don't have a lot invested either way, but I don't think his brain is unable to comprehend an interest in the taste of paper, strange pants with flowers on them that don't feel like flowers, sister's being loud and I can't ignore her like other sister but she's going to call... Auntie who sometimes brings ice cream? Ice cream!
So yeah. It wasn't a big effort piece anyway and didn't turn out how I wanted, and even if it had, it's okay if you don't like it.
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn Ficlet: Don’t Forget the Ice Cream
Date: 2013-09-23 09:28 pm (UTC)And like I said, showed what was happening to him, NOT his thoughts. This was not a close POV piece and that makes a big difference. I showed the world from his position, not his perspective. He does not understand all of it, as noted several times.
And if they know if they scream, mom comes, why wouldn't they know if they holler mentally, aunt comes? (they grew up with mindreading) And I've seen plenty of kids that age want a food item they knew to ask the adult for when said food wasn't at hand.
I don't have a lot invested either way, but I don't think his brain is unable to comprehend an interest in the taste of paper, strange pants with flowers on them that don't feel like flowers, sister's being loud and I can't ignore her like other sister but she's going to call... Auntie who sometimes brings ice cream? Ice cream!
So yeah. It wasn't a big effort piece anyway and didn't turn out how I wanted, and even if it had, it's okay if you don't like it.