I wasn’t really sure I was going to do New Year’s goals, but alas, I have some in the big areas of health, spiritual, writing, and finances.
I’m on my January week off for the year, and I haven’t really gotten going on my heaps of reading to do nor getting into writing, though I’ve things I do in fact want to scribble on. But due to it being my “recover from the brink of catastrophic failure to function” week, I’m not stressing over producing anything, and I’m kind of super chuffed that goals happened. I wasn’t planning to do them, but I got them set up as weekly things to track.
Hope everyone had some lovely holidays and a lovely new year to you!
I had gotten behind on laundry, so the joys of wfh, is that if the fam doesn’t need the washer, I can just change out loads all day in between more important professional-type tasks. But it was a lot of laundry and there is a mountain of it atop my bed waiting for me to clear it away so I can sleep.
In other news, I’ve signed up for the free version of Avid Pro Intro and Cakewalk by Bandlab and started scrounging around for the cables for my neglected Casio WK-210 and I’m gonna see if I can get back into at least playing around with music for fun and mental health. (Singing to myself is great, but sometimes one might want something less ephemeral.)
I’m off the massive work recovery thing, so hopefully brainspace will be restored to full writing capability in the next day or so.
Have a nice night!
So I haven’t been blogging. This isn’t news. But basically, I didn’t have energy and I kind of feel bad for doing so much less communication with anybody I care about, but I also haven’t been up to making it happen anyway. That’s what bad health will do to you.
And to be completely honest, I’ve still been digging myself out of some serious depression after I ended up realizing how far I have fallen on that front. Let’s just say if my chronic health issues have started affecting my ability to think and function in a most basic manner (which was already clear to me from my degraded ability to do my dayjob), then maybe don’t mod anything. Biggest regret ever that I didn’t see that coming and quit before things went bad.
Progress is being made on the health front, but when you’re basically fighting just not to get worse, that’s not really indicative of improvement yet. I remain hopeful for actual improvement and just continue to plug away at trying to survive in the meantime.
Back to writing again, which suffers from the same problems the rest of my life does: health doesn’t always allow me to be functional, but when I am functional, I’m enjoying the ability to put words on paper again towards the current novels-in-progress. While I look forward to actual improvement, here too I’ll be grateful to just hold steady.
So this is a cheerful post! But ah well. I do feel a bit more cheerful than it sounds. Because at least I don’t feel like I’m on a slippery slope to worst most days anymore, which is where I’ve been for a little too long to be comfortable.
Hope you’re all doing well! Much love!
Not making any blogging goals whatsoever, but am actually eagerly looking forward to this 2023. I’ve been slowly revamping my schedule to hopefully make getting in some solid base hours more doable (working so far) and spun up book-writing plans that feel more doable than anything ever (long story, maybe some other time). Additionally, a path forward on my health is finally well in my hands, which is probably exactly how I got enough brainspace and energy to start in on the other two.
So writing a book right now. Exercising (even if fresh air still needs to show up more, work-at-home doesn’t inspire me much to venture out into the cold) is happening, and we’ll just have to fit in the smaller rocks around the bigger ones.
Hope you all have a wonderful new year and all your goals are achievable!
Available when I’m in an up, not a down. So gonna keep posting but just not worry about skip days.
Fins by Nymtea, ch. 15: Good stuff. Gorgeous art. Main couple being super cute, orcas being even cuter with their whole, Play! Play! in the background and a suitably ominous ending. Technically a bit of a cliffhanger, but it didn’t feel like one to me.
A Wicked Tale of Cinderella’s Stepmom, ch. 71-72: So I really like all the couples in this one and I adore the family moments, when they’re messy and when they’re warm fluff. Mildred jumping in to save a random girl she doesn’t even like who’s clearly on a get-a-man hunt felt so nice and in character and everything I love about Mildred. I’m convinced the baron uses his art for magical purposes. It’d be nice if we’d get an explanation for his ominousness soon, because the manhwa clearly isn’t casting him as a bad guy.
The Advanced Player of the Tutorial Tower, ch. 110-112: ugly villain, but suitably stronger than first appearance. I have a thing against bugs, so visually these chapters were not great. I absolutely love that his girls violently reject the idea of cheating or mindcontrolling him, even if they remain very grey morality in their own way, applying what morals they do have to people involved and not whether the actions themselves are right or not.
Suicide Hunter, ch. 71-73: Oh my heart! That was a good ending to this story! That nearly made me cry! It was absolutely lovely and I’m glad they really had such good payoff on the arc, as it felt very long to be immersed in a world within the world without really feeling his regular world very strongly. But soooo good!
Pixie and Brutus, ch. 108: Just utterly cute! I love overprotective found family and how they didn’t go overboard either, just demanded some respect. Delightful!
“Business Musings: How Writers Fail (Part 2): Fear (Established Writer Edition)” by Kristine Kathryn Rusch: A good article that actually inspired me to want to sit down and write out the fears that are holding me back, because I’m pretty 100% sure there’s a pile of them. Sadly. Knowing the problem though is half the battle.
Sciatica better but not gone yet. Ought to get on those stretches. More functional mentally overall. Roughly at chronically not great baseline, where I’d dipped heavily below for weeks, so this is good. 5/10
Went outside. Am well aware I need to do this more frequently, so that’s a plus. Also packed up 2 weeks worth of supplement doses, which is critical to me actually taking them. Yay me.
Basically 5 pages in the notebook: a snippet of a story for my sister and a bunch of lyrics, and a conlang word.
Conlanging: one word only in Kofnea the daughter language, uachak, originally meaning “little glory”, used colloquially to mean “fame”, implying that it was brief and/or fickle glory, having no real basis of merit or inherent worth.
Lyrics! I am only now getting it through my head that my random tendency to sing a lot and write songs that consist solely of lyrics and tune/melody is actually turning into an ability to actually write them down and finalize that part. When I got my first smartphone a couple years back, I started recording my singing in an attempt to really just deal with them later and at least not just repeat the same songs over and over so I wouldn’t forget them.
But last week, I realized once I nailed down the tune of verses and/or chorus, I could just sit there and write the rest as if I was writing poems, because technically, I am. I have a ton more experience with poetry and it’s working very well.
As for turning them into something listenable by someone else? We’ll get there maybe. Right now, I’m creating songs I can sing to keep myself going and that’s good enough.
Fiction: canon review, as I call it, when I go back through what I have in preparation to write more, in this case on “Chosen for Power.” Looking seriously forward to getting back into it and I already had a solid scene written on the next chapter, and I’m going to try to do a better job on the sensuousness in this chapter than I did in the last. I’m not as happy with that in chapter 2, as I was really focused on getting it shaped up enough to put the chapter out.
I have no more exchanges! I can focus on this and then the very late treat for someone else and get them up.
I Became the Wife of the Male Lead
https://bato.to/series/92590
So I find the title of this ver reassuring. Because we have some standard isekai former villainess denseness going on. What makes this one so great is Daddy Duke Abel. His relationship with the main, Fiona, makes me think of If You Touch My Brother, You’re Dead, in the way dad and daughter are clearly meant to be, with just the right brand of ruthless.
The story’s less mad caper though. If You Touch reminds me of Emperor’s New Groove and I Became the Wife doesn’t. It’s got pining, war is horrible, found family, abusive bio family, and OP magic. I thoroughly enjoyed season 1 and want more.
Tbf, I’ve read other things but at time of writing this, that’s the latest, so that’s what we’re talking about.
Tower of God Khun(/Bam) Ficlets:
Queen’s Thief Gen/Irene Ficlet:
Health has been such that all my plans for the week largely melted away in the face of dealing with that. I’m going to try and get back on chapter 2 of Chosen for Power this weekend.
It’s very tempting to stretch myself too thin, and I’m trying not to. So no committing to other late treat work, and no committing to not doing that either.
It feels weird to do any part of life in light of a war, but I’m sending prayers and trying to push myself forward regardless.
Hugs and blessings to all who need some.
Yeah, so this year, I’m doing something new with the annual goals:
Me. I have plans.
Best wishes for yours!
So I’m writing a story again, go me. I’m actually writing stories all the time and there’s of course, the commission and the Big One hiding out in my Big Fear timeline that I don’t even know when it’s supposedly due. Ahem, anyway.
Then there’s this thing. I brainstormed it over the last two days basically and lo and behold! a story! I know how it’s supposed to end and I know all the big emotional stuff going on through the two big mains and absolutely no clue how much of the backstory’s going in or how to organize any of it.
Yeah, so thoughts about structure. I’ve never been big on the idea of this straightforward plot nonsense. It just really doesn’t quite work for me. I’m far more into the business of structuring an emotional journey. And right now, I know absolutely the emotional journey I’m going to throw these characters through, but how that’s going to play out for the reader is a whole different ballgame.
There’s backstory, the first. There’s backstory, the second. There’s present time over a longer period of time where the two mains meet and one gets over her natural skepticism and one gets over (or at least finds more peace with) his overwhelming longstanding grief and then there’s the wrap-up for those two.
I’m absolutely not going to write three stories and marry them, so good luck to me figuring out how much of this stuff is needed.
Plus main storyline invites some meta and in-world nonstandard texts, but that doesn’t mean it’s a great idea for me to get sidetracked by that.
In short, I’m gonna do the thing I do when I’m writing about a universe I know too much about: I’m going to write the main story as if the reader knows everything I do. Then good luck to future me editing in all the pieces necessary to understand.
What kind of structure does one plan for a three in one story? In my case, as little as possible.
Just tired, bone deep tired of everything, of everyone tearing the world apart and hurting people who don’t deserve to be hurt, of dogpiling and blaming, and in the middle of it all, of my body trying to give up altogether when that isn’t a person I’ve ever allowed myself to be.
It’s a lot just to keep going right now, and so I’m not talking about the nightmares going on in the world right now and don’t intend to start. I’m so grateful for everyone who’s stepped up to keep MFD going and beautiful because even signing up and committing to write one drabble is just too much. I love everyone and I see your posts and your emails and feel your pain and hold you in my heart and I stay silent.
I wish I were less silent. But right now, this is where I am. I love all of you and hope for all the things you need right now that I can’t give you. You’re in my heart.
Fandom for Oz is live! I’m offering fanfic in return for donations to support Australia. A link to the bidding guide for the auction.
Wrote:
Not what I was hoping but not half bad. I was hoping to get more down on WIP. I know where I’m heading with it, just haven’t had time/energy/headspace to get it down yet.
I’ve also finished getting a PDF file ready of What Lies Before, a collection of original short stories, which I will get into download access and possibly a gumroad before I try and figure out how to actually publish it properly, because that last sounds more tiring than it ought.
Still, that’s prepped, which is great.
I also pulled 5 pieces out of first access into freely available, so I’ll get there on posting links to those soon too.
On the health front, I went to a new doctor yesterday for insurance reasons to establish care, who is willing to keep my other doctor in the loop, which is awesome. And lo! There is hope for me yet. I have a structural issue apparently that’s preventing my getting enough oxygen or draining stuff the way I should, which technically I always kind of knew. From childhood, my breathing options were constrained, I just didn’t realize they meant I’m literally never getting enough oxygen, and I’ve always been so stuffed up, I can barely smell.
Shocker. These things have health consequences, so my doctor gave me a potential nonsurgical option to check out, which I will do as soon as we wrap up all this car and post-vacation business. Because quality of life! Not dragging around tired and depressed all the time! This would be good!
About that, CAR! I loved our beautiful, old faithful, 2005 sedan but it was… time to retire it. We got a new car on Friday, which has eaten a chunk into budget and time bank, but so worth it. A beautiful Hyundai Santa Fe Sport and I will eventually get used to how her responsiveness differs greatly from the sedan. Mostly, I will eventually stop turning on the windshield wipers when I’m trying to reverse because our gear shaft is now in between the seats instead of on the steering wheel. I drove like an amateur yesterday on my first time out in her. Oh well.
Hope you’re all doing well! Lots of love!
For those things without prompts you feel like posting here.
So along with writing more, typing up my backlog, etc., I’m also trying to do better at crossposting. One of these got mentioned before but is now also on my website and not just AO3.
Yata seriously considered grabbing Saruhiko’s knife and stabbing him. Except that would defeat the entire purpose of carefully wrapping every injury in antiseptic and gauze, regardless of how much it stung. [Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki]
Written for Happy Belated Treatmas 2019 for my dear friend in fandom, geckoholic. Who prompted some of my favorites for the Hurt Comfort Exchange when I really wasn’t up to adding another exchange to the docket. Months later, behold! Fushimi/Yata hurt/comfort with some how does one have sex around the bruises and also lots and lots of unspoken feelings because that’s how they roll.
“Are you comfortable with this assignment?” her supervisor asked, and she was not unintelligent.
She looked thoughtful for a moment, processing all the implications—it would do no good to have them assume her an airhead or even blindly devoted to the cause; it was a delicate balance to strike—then nodded. “Yes.” [Nicky Parsons/Jason Bourne]
He’d had friends and now he had nothing. [Dazai Osamu]
Okay, so I took one look at the prompt about not wanting to move on and Dazai was just it. He lost his friends, and he moved on from the Port Mafia, but in a way, he didn’t really move on from that. It’s what drives him today. Also, angst.
Rogue was just a teenage girl who couldn’t touch anyone. Accelerator was just a teenage boy no one could touch. [Rogue +/Accelerator]
So the prompt was your first favorite character and your latest favorite character and I hadn’t actually thought about how well these two would complement each other from an ability perspective. It probably should have kept more of the Toaru setting, but I gravitated toward Xavier’s school and of course that meant Accelerator has classmates and a slightly better present (okay, a million times better) than where he started from in Toaru, so I did soften him up minutely to reflect that, hopefully in line with his personality from slightly better present in Toaru but without having all the softening up he gets in that canon from Last Order and Accel family.
I can’t imagine anyone else being strongly interested in this, but it was actually really nice writing Rogue again, however briefly. I hadn’t planned to, it just came out, but I’m actually kinda happy with it.
So I was horrible at running Patreon and crossposting last year and here’s hoping to be slightly better. I intend to take everything posted on first access in 2019 and make it free by the end of the month.
Posted for first access ($1/mo.) today are three poems, all written today:
Available for free on website and AO3, fanfic:
The last was written for Happy Belated Treatmas 2019 for Ashling, who prompted arranged marriage and tenderness and hurt/comfort and upon discovering Bourne was an option, this AU just sprang into my head, basically because arranged marriage fit so well with the whole undercover asset thing and having a relationship that was both professional and intensely personal. I really loved stepping back into Nicky’s head for a minute and was really happy the recipient liked it.
I’ll get my other Treatmas fics crossposted soonish.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
timeasmymeasureforests_of_fire
