It hides the place to enter an SA form for an HSA, which costs a several hundred dollars fee until you find it.
It hides the real home page until you’ve filed this years taxes, making it impossible to reach my 2017 taxes, which I completed but didn’t hit the file button due to lack of funds to pay for it.
It puts my account under review for violation of terms of service because the only reason it would not show the real home page is me keeping multiple accounts. Because that makes sense.
I’ve never had more than one account with them, and if I hadn’t put in so much work on last year’s taxes, the tears would not be worth trying to get access to that work. But I did. Literally the only thing left to do was hit file.
Weekends used to be when I got everything done I didn’t have time for during the workweek. So often now, I have to just stop and rest. I’ve got the ideas for how to write out stories right now, but not the right headspace to write them.
There’s so many things I want to do, including put together those story or poetry collections and I know just how to do it too, but the energy’s just not there. It’s frustrating and yet, I feel like that lesson I learned in childhood that just accepting and choosing to rest is still important. If you’re stressed and guilty while resting, you don’t come out refreshed on the other side of it. If you actually stop and break and accept it, you feel better afterward.
A hard lesson sometimes, to stop and rest.
That said, I was gifted with a 2-day pass to crunchyroll for the purpose of watching the first episode of the Fifteen adaptation and I loved it. Sooooooo much. I love little bundle of fierceness Chuuya, his belief he’s going to keep growing (awww, nope, you’re done, kid), and his protectiveness of the Sheep. Also, his distaste for the Port Mafia specifically because they bathed Yokohama in blood and violence under the previous boss, which puts into perspective some of his later protectiveness of the city. He just really is a protective personality in general, I think, and chooses to use his gleeful love of destruction against targets he feels merit it and are harming people or places he cares about. Interesting. To me anyway.
I love how he rejects the label of king so strongly and how he absolutely loved going up against Hirotsu, and he kicked Dazai in the face! And picked up on the suicidal thing instantly at the first warning sign and they’re absolutely delightful bickering!
Ugh, I’m just so happy right now.
I thought about rewatching Dead Apple while I have the opportunity but instead braved the first episode of Yuri on Ice because every red flag for a potential favorite character is waving in Yuri Plisetsky’s direction, so here’s hoping I make it through the incredible amounts of secondhand embarrassment the first few episodes of an anime always seem to have. (Why? Can’t any of them just skip that part? :headdesk: )
Tomorrow, I have to do taxes and sort out how bad did I screw over my finances when I bought essentials on payday, so I can send off bill money. And I even forgot to buy some things, soooo that’s gonna be interesting. I don’t recommend living paycheck to paycheck. This is where getting on publishing a few hundred poems would be a good thing. Get right on that.
I still have that list of 8 people I intended to properly write after my negligent, hi y’all, I can barely function phase. Hopefully tomorrow?
Well, here’s hoping you’re all having a lovely weekend!
Sometimes I write things. Lots of things. And don’t get them posted anywhere right away. I have a little WordPress site that’s password protected where I’ve been dumping inventory, original and fanfic both but not poetry because apparently, I’ll never get the hang of crossposting that. It’s behind. Not sure if I want to go ahead and unlock it or not because it’s anything but complete and it reveals every sock I ever had.
I’ve got a little wiki where I log stuff as I write. The poems go on one page with the actual title and body of the poem and no stats or data beyond date written and their chronological order (aka, this is where I post them for my own self but without metadata except as implied), and the fiction of all kinds gets logged in stats and linked form but no content, which is making it a lot easier to figure out where all my stuff is and isn’t without getting bogged down in crossposting. I have a lot of stuff and going back more than ten years of didn’t log it right.
In other words, I’ve written this week and no one can read what I’ve written this week because I’m behind on getting stuff out to the world. It’s kind of frustrating. Let alone the stuff I’m supposed to publish. I’m sooooo behind on doing that kind of thing. But my sister got me a graphics program again, so there’s that.
I have a list of people I’ve carried four, five weeks now that I want to actually sit down and write and connect with because I’ve been heads down, keep head above water, crash at the first sign of duties done lately. This extends as far as I’ve seen friends’ posts and prayed for them but didn’t comment. Oops. I love you all really. This too shall pass.
That said, lots of work work today on the day job. And also, huge shoutout to Erin Condren and their life planners, more importantly the stickers. I’ve been trying to use lists, planners, and every organizational thing under the sun to keep taking all my stuff even when I’m so sick I forget and to DO all my stuff even when I start forgetting. It’s never worked. Until the stickers.
I’m a fan.
Wrote some drabbles that aren't on AO3 and a bunch of poems that aren't on tumblr.
Worked on that story for morne that isn't done yet. Why is the first fic for a ship always so hard to write? Just not fair.
Work crazy hectic, home crazy hectic, and I've a board meeting on Sunday.
I owe someone else a fic and I've been poking at the idea of trovia's long, long, long overdue fic for the short story of the week. It's probably too long and with everything else on my plate infeasible. Alas.
But overall had fun and managed to squeeze in watching the latest duels episode on World of Dance when I had a bad night. So there's that.
Hope you all are doing well!
Pinch Hit #3 DesertVixen
( Fairy Tail, Chalion Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold, Cherry Ames - Helen Wells & Julie Tatham, Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys Super Mysteries - Franklin W. Dixon & Carolyn Keene, The Unknown Ajax - Georgette Heyer )
Pinch Hit #5 Fairleigh
( The Broken Earth Series - N. K. Jemisin, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy/Velvet Goldmine, Girls (TV)/Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Strange the Dreamer Series - Laini Taylor, Star Wars: Canto Bight - Various Authors, True Detective, Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat )
Pinch Hit #11 Wicked_Northstar
( Skiing RPF, Men's Football RPF, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms )
When life goes bad for long stretches, I have a tendency to lurk so I’m not talking about doom, gloom, poor me, and all about me all the time. Nobody likes that, including me.
When health goes bad for long stretches, writing people directly gets a lot harder and I only do it on the upswings, which are unpredictable at best.
When things are super hectic at work, I also tend to talk less, because no time, no energy, I collapse into bed when the pile is done.
When I know I’m working on something highly visible, I tend not to talk because I’m worried I’ll be judged if I’m behind because there wasn’t enough brainpower/energy to do that but I managed a post on my blog.
That said, I’m working on MFD matching, crazy amount of stuff at work, and my worldbuildex fic, which is due. Tomorrow.
Yeah, not my finest week. But I’m gonna try to stop letting guilt stop me from ever saying anything because I miss people and it’s easier to keep going and not feeling unproductive and useless (often a self-fulfilling prophecy) if I stay emotionally up and talking to people. Just not writing for them.
I apologize everyone whose fic is on hold until after BSD Spring Fling and Multifandom Drabble. Soon.
I think I’m going to write myself a letter like I was signing up for an exchange with the stories I want myself to write so I can read them. Because I want to write original short stories this year and I’ve written one out of seven weeks and it was for an exchange.
Speaking of exchanges, there are now three original fiction exchanges! I’m just going to do veonat’s in the fall. I wrote Shelter for the last one.
I’m trying out Canva for online graphic design and really am going to settle down and get back to publishing and also start packaging up the monthly inventory in PDFs I think. I have a ko-fi now where the poetry will go once I get some finished and I have covers done for a month or two.
Also, on things I run:
- Multifandom Drabble is starting up nominations for round 1 on Sunday, the 24th.
- Conlang is a post-imzy site for the conlang comm I started there. I haven’t been conlanging much, but I post the daily posts and am trying to get back on the pony of maybe at least putting what I’ve got in a lexicon spreadsheet.
- I handed off Multifandom Tropefest to longficmod, who was my co-mod first round and ended up taking it over when my grandmother died while it was running. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever even participate in this fest as my associations with it are all terrible.
- I’m considering running (somebody stop me) an exchange where you can throw in your original fiction, comics, or art as fandoms and request fanwork. Like the usual remix though, it wouldn’t be a proper exchange. You get to specify NSFW and medium of the fanwork in your request but nothing else really. It’d match on genre, warnings, rating, and medium. I don’t know. Been noodling in my head. I really shouldn’t run this.
Just a bunch of different thoughts. I’ve got so many stories in progress it’s scary. I’m behind on talking to people. My crossposting is terribly behind. But I’m starting to feel human a bit, despite being exhausted and pushing at work enough that I came home yesterday and just wanted to cry rather than work anymore. And I have so much to do there. I’ve got a nasty bug with too many potential permutations and it’s still not quantified. I was supposed to clear out several columns on the bug board and didn’t succeed at that at all.
I’ve been trying, just trying, a new legume and grain free diet, which is anti-inflammatory, a chronic problem of mine, seeing as I have both sciatica and tendonitis, and I’ve been thinking clearer and dragging less and able to do things and I really hope it’s not the diet because it’s hard. I have enough food allergies that not eating any beans and grains is actually a problem sometimes. But it’s good to feel human, so we’ll just have to see how it all turns out.
Hope you all are doing well!
He's more self-aware than people give him credit for. He knows he's awkward and doesn't get it right and puts his foot in it and can't read a room, etc. He knows he doesn't quite fit in and sometimes people don't like him and he's too much, and the more I think about some of the things he said at the beginning of Lost Small World and his reaction to Totsuka in Blaze and his reaction to being alone or left behind by his friends or Fushimi or Homra, Yata feels like he doesn't fit in or belong a lot of the time and actually seems really sensitive and trying to hide it and feels unwanted when people don't stay around.
Which is something I really, really get. He tries really hard and he's so earnest, and yet, he really does have a hard time getting it right with people all the time, especially people who don't already know and love him.
Just a few thoughts.
That’s something I learned from a writer who does a lot of challenges: failing to success. So I failed to write anything longer than 1400 words, aka those short stories I want to get done. I also failed to finish the particular treats and late treats I wanted to.
That said, I wrote 100 poems and 33 ficlets in January. Not all of which are posted on AO3 yet or in the case of the poems, to tumblr. Still, that makes me super happy. Next month, short stories!
Hope you’re all doing well on your own goals.
So the goal by the end of the month is to have:
- 27 ficlets
- 4 short stories
- 93 poems
At the moment, I’ve logged:
- 24 ficlets
- 91 poems
- 0 short stories
Despite my best efforts. Technically, there are 11 poems waiting to be typed up, so I’m on track for poetry and three days to add three ficlets, so doing fine there too. It’s the short stories that is a slight problem. And of course, there’s Chocolate Box, which could either help or hinder. We’ll have to see which.
So when I started getting really sick a few months ago, I discovered Overdrive app and also fell back on my usual favorite thing to do when sick, binge-watch music competition shows and old favorite shows. But because of the Overdrive app and that I wasn’t up to writing or my usual stuff right after losing my grandmother, I also turned to reading. I had just finished the Diving series through the current book and started looking for more. I started rereading the longest series I had, Honor Harrington, which I’d stopped mid-book 9. Now I’ve read the first 11, though At All Costs, but the library didn’t have the last three books and I haven’t coughed up the money yet.
So all that said, here’s some stuff I’ve read lately:
- The Diving Series by Kristine Rusch: very, very good and I want to know everything there is to know about the anacapa drive. I adore Boss, the main character, a woman whose birth name we don’t even know. I fell slowly but surely for Squishy, who is very much a survivor of a terrible past and lives in the aftermath of that throughout the whole series. She’s also a genius scientist with a ruthless side I love. I love Yash Zarlengo, a brilliant engineer with a delightfully strong, no-nonsense personality. I feel fannish. There’s technology that people don’t really understand and that having huge consequences, man out of time, and lots of spaceship and technology porn. Like seriously, someone read these books and love them like I do.
- Honor Harrington Series by David Weber: has issues but was more tolerable the second time through if I skipped the less than convincing love scenes and was properly braced for the deaths and everything political going wrong. It has a serious squick of mine in the later books with the nanotech from Mesa, specifically what it does, but I find that if I can enjoy a Gary Stu space opera, then I can enjoy the level of Mary Sue that Honor sometimes gets to be. It’s good stuff and it’s really the broad cast of secondary characters that make you eternally love so much of the books, like Harkness and Tremaine forever.
- Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells: I got the first book free from Tor and despite the expense went ahead and bought the rest because they are so good. This is everything I love about artificial intelligence and science fiction. There’s just the right amount of tension and suspense, the AI has no desire to be all feely and emotional and human, and there’s a lot of ambivalence in the relationships she’s developing. She’s sarcastic and dry as I could ever hope for. The voice in this series is so hard to get right, but it’s so my thing, and ART is a treasure of an intelligent sentient spaceship. Intelligent sentient spaceships made of metal and rivets is my favorite thing.
- Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie: I fell in love with Leckie when she was writing short stories and had no novels yet and I know they talk a lot about the gender thing which was great, but I was more fascinated by her handling of something I’ve struggled with enough to not write certain stories yet: writing a character’s POV with multiple bodies. Plus, Breq is wonderful and ambivalent and not that interested in being human and feelsy and so good at being the thing she is, and Mercy is the best and sweetest spaceship and that space station is like my favorite AI that decided to learn to be BAMF ever, and I love the twists and turns everything took and how nobody was all good or all bad or had all the right answers. I haven’t read Provenance yet, but I just got it checked out from the library and am looking forward to it.
- Temeraire series by Naomi Novik: I adored the first book ages ago and via Overdrive was able to get the rest. Inhaled it in a few days and like every soapy, iddy moment of it. Everything is better with dragons. I haven’t read Crucible of Gold yet, but went ahead and read the last book since the hold came in first. Just got that one in and will finish the series.
- Ogre Enchanted and the Lost Kingdom of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine: I loved Ella Enchanted and the Two Princesses of Bamarre and was flipping from the new books to the old ones to get everything situated right in my head, and these prequels were perfect, imho.
- Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee: I’ve loved many of Lee’s shorts and yup, this series gets too graphic sometimes but Cheris and Jedao and the Shuos Hexarch are all in my heart now and I adore the servitors, whose sentience has almost gone overlooked and how they love Cheris. I’ve got one more book to go and just got it in from the library.
- The Thrawn Trilogy by Timothy Zahn: I’ve read two out of three (the third just got in) on a recommendation to check out Mara Jade (years ago, oops), and I love it so far, though there are bits I love less. I suspect fannishness in my near future here.
- A few shorts, like for Divergent, and I wasn’t just imagining Christine/Tobias, wow, and Extracurricular Activities for Jedao. Most of it good, some meh.
- I started reading Sun Knight and haven’t gotten as far as I ought to have, because I’ve been prioritizing reading on when my loan expired. (Already lost Forever Red and will need to re-check out. Bleh.) But it’s on the list of to be read.