Very angsty. The hand on her shoulder made her jump, and Khrystyn looked up to see her mother frowning down at her. She hadn't realized anyone had come in. Alexei said the floor outside his room always told him when people were coming—it creaked—and that his door was easily slammed, but he could hear. Khrystyn couldn't. She didn't have that kind of warning.
“What are you doing in here?”
Khrystyn tightened her grip on Alexei's old stuffed bear, the ratty thing he'd stolen from her when he was a baby and never gave back. She didn't know how to answer that. She was still waiting for the world to make sense again, and it hadn't, not since she learned her father had hurt her brother.
“I miss him, Mamochka. I want my brother back. I want Lyosha.”
Her mother sat down next to her, wrapping her arms around her and rocking her. Khrystyn still didn't understand. It was her father who'd done wrong, and they'd taken him to jail. She agreed with that. She didn't know that she'd ever forgive him for hurting Alexei. What she didn't understand was why they'd taken Lyosha away, too. He hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't told them about what their father had done, but he wasn't bad. He must have been scared.
Now he was alone and probably terrified.
Promise me, she begged her mother silently. Promise me we'll get Lyosha back. That he'll be okay and we'll be a family again. Promise me we'll find a way to be happy again. Promise me we'll see his beautiful smile and I can tease him, that he'll make me laugh, that we'll know what fun is. Promise me that this ache where my brother used to be will go away.
Promise me I'll stop feeling guilty for not hearing him cry for help when he needed me. Promise me I'll be there next time he needs me. Promise me we can fix this. Promise me... everything.
Her mother held her close, but she didn't make any promises.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-07-08 07:02 am (UTC)The hand on her shoulder made her jump, and Khrystyn looked up to see her mother frowning down at her. She hadn't realized anyone had come in. Alexei said the floor outside his room always told him when people were coming—it creaked—and that his door was easily slammed, but he could hear. Khrystyn couldn't. She didn't have that kind of warning.
“What are you doing in here?”
Khrystyn tightened her grip on Alexei's old stuffed bear, the ratty thing he'd stolen from her when he was a baby and never gave back. She didn't know how to answer that. She was still waiting for the world to make sense again, and it hadn't, not since she learned her father had hurt her brother.
“I miss him, Mamochka. I want my brother back. I want Lyosha.”
Her mother sat down next to her, wrapping her arms around her and rocking her. Khrystyn still didn't understand. It was her father who'd done wrong, and they'd taken him to jail. She agreed with that. She didn't know that she'd ever forgive him for hurting Alexei. What she didn't understand was why they'd taken Lyosha away, too. He hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't told them about what their father had done, but he wasn't bad. He must have been scared.
Now he was alone and probably terrified.
Promise me, she begged her mother silently. Promise me we'll get Lyosha back. That he'll be okay and we'll be a family again. Promise me we'll find a way to be happy again. Promise me we'll see his beautiful smile and I can tease him, that he'll make me laugh, that we'll know what fun is. Promise me that this ache where my brother used to be will go away.
Promise me I'll stop feeling guilty for not hearing him cry for help when he needed me. Promise me I'll be there next time he needs me. Promise me we can fix this. Promise me... everything.
Her mother held her close, but she didn't make any promises.