When life goes bad for long stretches, I have a tendency to lurk so I’m not talking about doom, gloom, poor me, and all about me all the time. Nobody likes that, including me.
When health goes bad for long stretches, writing people directly gets a lot harder and I only do it on the upswings, which are unpredictable at best.
When things are super hectic at work, I also tend to talk less, because no time, no energy, I collapse into bed when the pile is done.
When I know I’m working on something highly visible, I tend not to talk because I’m worried I’ll be judged if I’m behind because there wasn’t enough brainpower/energy to do that but I managed a post on my blog.
That said, I’m working on MFD matching, crazy amount of stuff at work, and my worldbuildex fic, which is due. Tomorrow.
Yeah, not my finest week. But I’m gonna try to stop letting guilt stop me from ever saying anything because I miss people and it’s easier to keep going and not feeling unproductive and useless (often a self-fulfilling prophecy) if I stay emotionally up and talking to people. Just not writing for them.
I apologize everyone whose fic is on hold until after BSD Spring Fling and Multifandom Drabble. Soon.
I think I’m going to write myself a letter like I was signing up for an exchange with the stories I want myself to write so I can read them. Because I want to write original short stories this year and I’ve written one out of seven weeks and it was for an exchange.
Speaking of exchanges, there are now three original fiction exchanges! I’m just going to do veonat’s in the fall. I wrote Shelter for the last one.
I’m trying out Canva for online graphic design and really am going to settle down and get back to publishing and also start packaging up the monthly inventory in PDFs I think. I have a ko-fi now where the poetry will go once I get some finished and I have covers done for a month or two.
Also, on things I run:
- Multifandom Drabble is starting up nominations for round 1 on Sunday, the 24th.
- Conlang is a post-imzy site for the conlang comm I started there. I haven’t been conlanging much, but I post the daily posts and am trying to get back on the pony of maybe at least putting what I’ve got in a lexicon spreadsheet.
- I handed off Multifandom Tropefest to longficmod, who was my co-mod first round and ended up taking it over when my grandmother died while it was running. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever even participate in this fest as my associations with it are all terrible.
- I’m considering running (somebody stop me) an exchange where you can throw in your original fiction, comics, or art as fandoms and request fanwork. Like the usual remix though, it wouldn’t be a proper exchange. You get to specify NSFW and medium of the fanwork in your request but nothing else really. It’d match on genre, warnings, rating, and medium. I don’t know. Been noodling in my head. I really shouldn’t run this.
Just a bunch of different thoughts. I’ve got so many stories in progress it’s scary. I’m behind on talking to people. My crossposting is terribly behind. But I’m starting to feel human a bit, despite being exhausted and pushing at work enough that I came home yesterday and just wanted to cry rather than work anymore. And I have so much to do there. I’ve got a nasty bug with too many potential permutations and it’s still not quantified. I was supposed to clear out several columns on the bug board and didn’t succeed at that at all.
I’ve been trying, just trying, a new legume and grain free diet, which is anti-inflammatory, a chronic problem of mine, seeing as I have both sciatica and tendonitis, and I’ve been thinking clearer and dragging less and able to do things and I really hope it’s not the diet because it’s hard. I have enough food allergies that not eating any beans and grains is actually a problem sometimes. But it’s good to feel human, so we’ll just have to see how it all turns out.
Hope you all are doing well!
He's more self-aware than people give him credit for. He knows he's awkward and doesn't get it right and puts his foot in it and can't read a room, etc. He knows he doesn't quite fit in and sometimes people don't like him and he's too much, and the more I think about some of the things he said at the beginning of Lost Small World and his reaction to Totsuka in Blaze and his reaction to being alone or left behind by his friends or Fushimi or Homra, Yata feels like he doesn't fit in or belong a lot of the time and actually seems really sensitive and trying to hide it and feels unwanted when people don't stay around.
Which is something I really, really get. He tries really hard and he's so earnest, and yet, he really does have a hard time getting it right with people all the time, especially people who don't already know and love him.
Just a few thoughts.
That’s something I learned from a writer who does a lot of challenges: failing to success. So I failed to write anything longer than 1400 words, aka those short stories I want to get done. I also failed to finish the particular treats and late treats I wanted to.
That said, I wrote 100 poems and 33 ficlets in January. Not all of which are posted on AO3 yet or in the case of the poems, to tumblr. Still, that makes me super happy. Next month, short stories!
Hope you’re all doing well on your own goals.
So the goal by the end of the month is to have:
- 27 ficlets
- 4 short stories
- 93 poems
At the moment, I’ve logged:
- 24 ficlets
- 91 poems
- 0 short stories
Despite my best efforts. Technically, there are 11 poems waiting to be typed up, so I’m on track for poetry and three days to add three ficlets, so doing fine there too. It’s the short stories that is a slight problem. And of course, there’s Chocolate Box, which could either help or hinder. We’ll have to see which.
So when I started getting really sick a few months ago, I discovered Overdrive app and also fell back on my usual favorite thing to do when sick, binge-watch music competition shows and old favorite shows. But because of the Overdrive app and that I wasn’t up to writing or my usual stuff right after losing my grandmother, I also turned to reading. I had just finished the Diving series through the current book and started looking for more. I started rereading the longest series I had, Honor Harrington, which I’d stopped mid-book 9. Now I’ve read the first 11, though At All Costs, but the library didn’t have the last three books and I haven’t coughed up the money yet.
So all that said, here’s some stuff I’ve read lately:
- The Diving Series by Kristine Rusch: very, very good and I want to know everything there is to know about the anacapa drive. I adore Boss, the main character, a woman whose birth name we don’t even know. I fell slowly but surely for Squishy, who is very much a survivor of a terrible past and lives in the aftermath of that throughout the whole series. She’s also a genius scientist with a ruthless side I love. I love Yash Zarlengo, a brilliant engineer with a delightfully strong, no-nonsense personality. I feel fannish. There’s technology that people don’t really understand and that having huge consequences, man out of time, and lots of spaceship and technology porn. Like seriously, someone read these books and love them like I do.
- Honor Harrington Series by David Weber: has issues but was more tolerable the second time through if I skipped the less than convincing love scenes and was properly braced for the deaths and everything political going wrong. It has a serious squick of mine in the later books with the nanotech from Mesa, specifically what it does, but I find that if I can enjoy a Gary Stu space opera, then I can enjoy the level of Mary Sue that Honor sometimes gets to be. It’s good stuff and it’s really the broad cast of secondary characters that make you eternally love so much of the books, like Harkness and Tremaine forever.
- Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells: I got the first book free from Tor and despite the expense went ahead and bought the rest because they are so good. This is everything I love about artificial intelligence and science fiction. There’s just the right amount of tension and suspense, the AI has no desire to be all feely and emotional and human, and there’s a lot of ambivalence in the relationships she’s developing. She’s sarcastic and dry as I could ever hope for. The voice in this series is so hard to get right, but it’s so my thing, and ART is a treasure of an intelligent sentient spaceship. Intelligent sentient spaceships made of metal and rivets is my favorite thing.
- Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie: I fell in love with Leckie when she was writing short stories and had no novels yet and I know they talk a lot about the gender thing which was great, but I was more fascinated by her handling of something I’ve struggled with enough to not write certain stories yet: writing a character’s POV with multiple bodies. Plus, Breq is wonderful and ambivalent and not that interested in being human and feelsy and so good at being the thing she is, and Mercy is the best and sweetest spaceship and that space station is like my favorite AI that decided to learn to be BAMF ever, and I love the twists and turns everything took and how nobody was all good or all bad or had all the right answers. I haven’t read Provenance yet, but I just got it checked out from the library and am looking forward to it.
- Temeraire series by Naomi Novik: I adored the first book ages ago and via Overdrive was able to get the rest. Inhaled it in a few days and like every soapy, iddy moment of it. Everything is better with dragons. I haven’t read Crucible of Gold yet, but went ahead and read the last book since the hold came in first. Just got that one in and will finish the series.
- Ogre Enchanted and the Lost Kingdom of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine: I loved Ella Enchanted and the Two Princesses of Bamarre and was flipping from the new books to the old ones to get everything situated right in my head, and these prequels were perfect, imho.
- Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee: I’ve loved many of Lee’s shorts and yup, this series gets too graphic sometimes but Cheris and Jedao and the Shuos Hexarch are all in my heart now and I adore the servitors, whose sentience has almost gone overlooked and how they love Cheris. I’ve got one more book to go and just got it in from the library.
- The Thrawn Trilogy by Timothy Zahn: I’ve read two out of three (the third just got in) on a recommendation to check out Mara Jade (years ago, oops), and I love it so far, though there are bits I love less. I suspect fannishness in my near future here.
- A few shorts, like for Divergent, and I wasn’t just imagining Christine/Tobias, wow, and Extracurricular Activities for Jedao. Most of it good, some meh.
- I started reading Sun Knight and haven’t gotten as far as I ought to have, because I’ve been prioritizing reading on when my loan expired. (Already lost Forever Red and will need to re-check out. Bleh.) But it’s on the list of to be read.
And I spent most of my time this weekend reading and commenting and giving kudos for the Exchanges After Dark discord server’s birthday bash, which was a badfic and badart exchange. I have not yet doled out comment replies.
General update on the year’s writing goals (which I still haven’t gone back and finished adding stats for last year :grimace: ). Thirteen days in and we’re at:
- 14 ficlets: 2 original, 12 fanfic
- 54 original passing poems and 2 fannish bad poems that I am not counting
- 0 short stories
And technically a little novel work too, which is good. So in short, not a bad start but not quite where I want to be. Still, I’m grateful.
I need to put a day of treating in on Fandom Stocking, I have a shortlist of candidates but yesterday, my brain wanted to write crack and uh, yeah, not what was requested. Also, can’t wait to shift to treating Chocolate Box.
I’m still reading Sun Knight. Hulu has been in and out and my favorite overstimulated-right-now crash method of watching singing competition shows has been largely cut off. I’m not happy. Also, since when did one trip to the nearby grocery store wipe me out this bad? Gotta do something to get my nerves back under control. I lost two hours to aftermath coping.
Hope you’re all doing well!
So the intention is to write a lot of fic this year, which means when you get an AO3 notification:
- stories by Liana Mir are original fiction
- stories by Remember When are potentially objectionable to someone I know is subscribed to me or just don’t quite feel like my usual stuff in my own extremely subjective opinion
- stories by scribblemyname are my usual fic and usually M-rated or below, fandoms are wide and varied
- stories by WriteItSmall are 350 words or less, regardless of content or rating but not original
If any of these aren’t to your taste, just ignore stuff by that pseud please!
I’m supposed to have done a wrap-up post by now, but counting things is tedious and I’m not done because Chocobox letter in progress and outstanding comments come first. That said, goals for the new year:
- Write 1000 poems, or about 3/day on average
- Write 52 short stories, or 1/week on average
- Write a drabble or ficlet a day on average, or 6/week (short stories count as one)
I’m hoping to also keep better track of what I’m up to this year, though tracking backwards remains a bit tedious.
- sinti • verb, to do something reckless and ill-advised
- ndaji • verb, to fool, deceive, or trick someone
- à- • prefix, else, as in àvì, elsewhen
- ibas • noun, bread, charitable giving, alms
- ra • auxiliary verb, negates main verb, e.g. ahuá ira, “we weren’t asked”; incorporated as -r-, negates incorporating verb or noun, e.g. obrugáshi, “he’s no lover to me”; ágrato, “you didn’t meet with me”
- tagilit • noun, lit. “the small night, losing someone while they remain alive or happy, e.g. a breakup or falling out with someone, moving away and losing touch with someone, a drifting apart
- ataglito • verb, to lose touch with or lose a relationship with someone, connotes a desired relationship or not intentionally initiating the break
- kobi • noun, playing piece (in a game)
- iharàsh • noun, buyer or purchaser in a transaction
- iharáshi • verb, to be the designated trader or purchaser for another person, caravan, business, or organization, etc., implies being a representative of wealth
- ishot • noun, money
- ishotaget • payday, lit. “of money-night”
- veste • adj., wet, lit. “bewatered”
- idigàsh • noun, teller, speaker
- aklotabanglo • verb, lit. “to blood-bury”, to cover up, to hide something
- tagehlosi • adj. lit. “night-minded”, grieving, depressed
- ibre’digàsh • noun, whisperer, informant, someone who tells secrets
- abestigo • verb, to say in a hidden manner, to imply or intimate (for the hearer’s benefit), to threaten by implication or subtext
- iklati • noun, paint
- iklatàsh • noun, painter
- ihlakosàsh • noun, a player currently participating in a game
- soh • adjective, for a long time or having some history, of some years of age, e.g. asàsi soh, “I’ve missed you for a long time”
- ieseb • noun, the core area or heart of a city, either the most important to its modern functioning or the original part of it that persists
- vote • noun, north
- votànta • to be northward (from something)
- ikhus • noun, mountain
- ikhusebet • noun, mountain range
- shinungahe • resultative, (it’s) probably passed
- anungo • verb, to pass, to go by
- -gahe • suffix, probably, lit. “should true”
- usàti • adjective, (of a person) holding too much unofficial power to wisely oppose
- samekle • adj., polite and honorable
- brekesamekle • adj., sympathetic but not in overt support
- itos • def. noun, the rock, especially a large one; boulder
- toste • adj., burdened
- toset • 1. adj., heavy or difficult to carry or move; 2. adv., strenuous
- (i)takoset • adj., administrative, clerical, bureaucratic
- abaeshekho • verb, to study
- ibirit • noun, story or level of a building; an upper story, balcony, or overlook
- mashakhiet • adj., worshipful, reverential in a romantic or sexual context
- itokh • [ itox ] • noun, the local trade
- itakhet • [ itaxɛt ] • noun, trade with foreigners, the open market, exports
- ichoto • [ itʃoto ] • noun, silk
- angit • [ aŋit ] • noun, cave
Fell off the map a bit this week, and I have actual work to do for work besides chores and laundry, which I must get started on in roughly 15 min. :sob: So much to do and frankly, what I’m going to do is the harder, more boring stuff.
I slept most of the day away yesterday and haven’t been doing much commenting or connecting with anyone. Sorry? Hope to be more available over new year’s.
That said, highly recommend all the stories from the remix. There are eight, including mine, and I read the whole collection. It was so, so good, even the stuff for a ship I'm not normally into. I love how they all delved into the characters and relationships, and you should go read if you haven't.
I am halfway through commenting because I was raring to comment and realized that I would de-anon if I did so at the time, so I waited and then was in the thick of the buried at work stuff. And I'm more interested in writing good comments that express how I really feel than Loved it! Not that there's anything wrong with a Loved it! but seriously. I've been doing a lot of that lately what with everything that's happened.
We made it through Christmas. It's hard, and it hurts, and I'm spending a lot more time than I can afford with my family just because it helps raise my grandfather's spirits and that's priceless right now. It was a good Christmas overall and that was more than I truly expected, so I'm grateful. I haven't sent out cards this year and I reserved my funds for gifting family members, but if anyone does want a fic / ficlet, feel free to comment and I'm going to try and do a little January treatathon. Maybe the fic that doesn't want to be written will come together as something better than snippets and snatches in the interim. (I was going to do a lot of Fandom Stocking treating, but the way it's all rolled out has just made it impossible to retain enthusiasm for that project.)
I'm maybe a quarter of the way through my Chocolate Box letter, and I think I'm going to keep my exchanges this year down to Chocobox and Multifandom Drabble, which I run, so not skipping that one.
I've had a really successful Lexember, a month-long challenge to coin a word a day for your conlang. I went with Akachenti because I finally got somewhere on the protolanging business this year when I was grieving hardest and found that fiction wouldn't come. I haven't coined words every day, but I've coined lots of words several days, and so am way ahead on the average.
There's been so much good new content coming out for K Project, lots of delightful or heart-wrenching shorts and K Seven Stories is already live and available and free—and in Japanese. I need to learn it so I don't have to keep waiting for translations.
I'm almost to the need for a year wrap up post with an indication of what I challenged myself to write, what I actually wrote, and all that good stuff for the year, but I didn't do quite as good a job at logging things as I ought to have, so I'll probably be a few days late with that. But on some fronts, I was surprised at how productive a year it was considering how bad the year has been overall. I started off having a meltdown in January, barely keeping head above water at work through the middle, and lost my grandmother towards the end, who's pretty much the most important person in my life, alongside my sister. And yet, it wasn't all bad either. I picked up new fandoms, made new friends (whom I adore), better reconnected with old friends (whom I also adore), wrote roughly 700 poems and more than 100 drabbles and actually committed original fiction again. Didn't finish that novel, but did finish a 15K novelette I'm still itching to write the sequel to. Not horrible everywhere.
I hope you all are doing fantastic and have an excellent last weekend of the year!
But not taking on new commitments because apparently I have no idea when my truly horrible days will occur and they tend to spread a bit, wearing off a few days later.
That said, my grandfather is going to be getting medical bills soon for my grandmother and a kind person set up a gofundme to help defray expenses. That’s here.
Everyone in the house has had bills go up and I’m going to try and get a patreon going soon to hopefully cover the difference in cost my paycheck won’t cover and also get out the several hundred poems and stories I haven’t published yet. Apparently, I logged 438 poems in 2017 and so far 565 poems in 2018. I’ve also written more than 100 drabbles this year and a handful of short stories, so it’s past time to start collecting and publishing everything not really done up yet and making available what hasn’t even been posted. It’s a chunk of work, but even the difference of a hundred bucks a month would solve a major bill problem, so Patreon seems like the obvious solution. (Getting a better-paying job or a promotion right now isn’t really an option.)
That said, on a more funnish front, I’ve been eyeing some treats I never got written due to my life going south in a bad way that I might sit down and finish. Would anyone be interested in an anonymous AO3 collection, like Happy Belated Treatmas, with work reveals on New Years and author reveals a week later? There was some sort of collection like that a year or two or ago and I like the idea of treating people with a tiny (emphasis on tiny) bit of structure but no pressure since it’s a late treat and the recip isn’t technically waiting on it.
I’ve been spending a ridiculous amount of time watching World of Dance and The Voice because apparently I cannot brain while grieving and that’s about my level. But I’m in love with Charity and Andres and really, the creative advice is good for writers too if you pay attention.
And I’ve been conlanging again because of course the right kind of comfort is untangling how diphthongs fit into a vowel inventory in light of sound change and I decided somewhere along the way I couldn’t make a proto-language without knowing how the vowels changed over time (this is actually true) and that I couldn’t make related languages without making a proto-language (this is debatable but true if I want an even remotely good one) and most of all that I needed to flesh these languages out at all to write the stories where they appear (this is likely completely false). But whatever. I do seem to enjoy the exercise, and there are worse hobbies to have even if it’s an extraordinarily unproductive one for me, considering how much energy and time I have to put into it and how many people aren’t waiting on any finished product.
Hope everyone is doing better than I am right now. Love you all and thanks for all the well wishes you’ve sent, the good thoughts, and for being so kind about my lurking generally non-communicative state.