apparently someone's trying to hack me

And for this reason, LJ has temp banned me and the crossposter won't work until I'm unbanned.

Nice.

Getting too good at not talking

Just tired, bone deep tired of everything, of everyone tearing the world apart and hurting people who don’t deserve to be hurt, of dogpiling and blaming, and in the middle of it all, of my body trying to give up altogether when that isn’t a person I’ve ever allowed myself to be.

It’s a lot just to keep going right now, and so I’m not talking about the nightmares going on in the world right now and don’t intend to start. I’m so grateful for everyone who’s stepped up to keep MFD going and beautiful because even signing up and committing to write one drabble is just too much. I love everyone and I see your posts and your emails and feel your pain and hold you in my heart and I stay silent.

I wish I were less silent. But right now, this is where I am. I love all of you and hope for all the things you need right now that I can’t give you. You’re in my heart.