I don't think there is a viable way to make what I have and what I did work, and I don't see any way of continuing on as I have.
It doesn't work. I never did, and I do still think it would have been better not to write because it has distorted my path too much and it so much a part of me that i don't know how to separate it, but it seems the only way to move on and get out of this rut is to let it go.
All things considered though, if you're looking for something to replace writing with, you might consider something that gives you control. I hate the phrase, but for lack of a better one, some people call writing "playing God." I'd look for something with that kind of offering, something that lets you set the rules as easily as writing does.
For me, it was graphics for a while. I'm good at those, so it worked for me for a little bit until I got the itch in my blood for words again. I know you've been having a hard time figuring out what to displace the writing with.
I never considered writing as a means of control and when people brought up that phrase of playing God, it made me want to quit I found it that offensive. I was never trying to compete with God when I wrote. I was a documentary maker at best, along for the ride as an observer and nothing more.When I discussed giving up writing before, the challenge was finding something that occupies my mind when I'm doing it. Most of the other things don't engage my brain enough. And I'm not an artist. It just frustrates me to see my lack of skill and inability to translate the images in my head to paper when I draw. So I can't see art as a viable alternative. I can shut down or divert my brain with video games or puzzles, but I have to have something that occupies it to maintain interest for more than a few obsessive hours.
There really isn't anything in the world quite like writing, so I don't see myself replacing it any time soon.
I know. I'm just saying I never consciously thought of writing as a means of control. It's dismaying on many levels to find that's what I have been doing because I really do hate the idea of playing God. I only ever really did graphic art for my fandoms, and I sucked at it, too. There's a reason I have a cover artist. I wish art was a viable option, but it isn't. That's part of why writing is so soul destroying. There's nothing like it. There are creative endeavors like art or making things (sewing, crafting, etc,) but there isn't the same level of mental challenge in those things for me (or there is too much challenge on the physical side in art's case.)
So I don't really have anything that interests me like writing, and since there really is no safe place in this world, there isn't much point in trying to use something else to create that. I don't know why I bothered doing it with writing.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-27 10:01 pm (UTC)I don't think there is a viable way to make what I have and what I did work, and I don't see any way of continuing on as I have.
It doesn't work. I never did, and I do still think it would have been better not to write because it has distorted my path too much and it so much a part of me that i don't know how to separate it, but it seems the only way to move on and get out of this rut is to let it go.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-27 10:08 pm (UTC)For me, it was graphics for a while. I'm good at those, so it worked for me for a little bit until I got the itch in my blood for words again. I know you've been having a hard time figuring out what to displace the writing with.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-27 10:21 pm (UTC)There really isn't anything in the world quite like writing, so I don't see myself replacing it any time soon.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-27 10:25 pm (UTC)And I wasn't recommending art, just mentioning that I used it for a while. Though graphic art. Can't draw to save my life.
no subject
Date: 2014-06-27 11:07 pm (UTC)So I don't really have anything that interests me like writing, and since there really is no safe place in this world, there isn't much point in trying to use something else to create that. I don't know why I bothered doing it with writing.