Reader Feedback Request: City of Glass

[scribblemyname]

In the effort to meet my deadlines on City of Glass, I pounded out the middle of chapter one, working off of some previous work that worked pretty well—before I put it in a serial. I distinctly do not care for how chapter one turned out because it seems to have lost all the tension from the prologue and I’m pretty sure it’s because I went with the outside POVs and am holding my real main characters at a distance. These are Hayley, Jena, and Shelley, who hasn’t even shown up on screen yet because I dumped her remand scene.

Should I power ahead on chapter two or rewrite chapter one? Do you care?

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Originally published at Liana Mir. You can comment here or there.

Comments

[pygmymuse.livejournal.com]

It could be me. Maybe I missed it. I do need to go over it again, but I don't remember a discussion of where Vardin was... I remember the talk of the Queen's will beating through her and being a slave to it and being older than the people around her. And going from that after the butterfly one, I was really lost. I know I mentioned being confused about the location/setting, and I remember you addressing it.

I must have missed the connection, and it has been a while since I read it, but I know I was lost before. I should try rereading it and seeing if I get a better sense of both stories.

Maybe there is a way to tie the stuff across the universe back to the prologue somehow? I don't know if any of those characters have a connection to the ones in the first chapter... And now I can't remember if they got word at any time of what happened in the prologue (maybe I am just not retaining what I read and that's my issue... it doesn't make sense because I'm not remembering anything?) but that might make a difference as well, having that event intersect somehow.

I don't know that I'm helping any, unfortunately.

[scribblemyname]

I did just tie back to the prologue, but not really much in the middle two parts. I think I can do some tweaking, do some more networking. Hm... Thank you for the feedback. Will see what I can do.

[pygmymuse.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. I wish it was more helpful.