Writing into the Abyss, Part II
May. 12th, 2013 08:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblemynameI did know what froze me up on writing my chaptered fanfics after a while, and it's weird to admit this, but here it is: they were too long.
When I realized it was going to take more than 100 chapters to wrap up some of those stories, my brain and muse froze up and it suddenly became very, very hard to keep writing. It was easier when I didn't realize that and could just scribble into the abyss, not knowing, not caring how many words it would take me to reach the end. I cannot tell you how liberating it is to not know.
And you know what? I think that's what happened to the Story from Inferno as well. I realized how much work and words were involved and almost got over it before my brain went too much, too much, too much—I'm scared.
Some writers write scared. It drives them, keeps them writing. I don't. Never have. Never have been able. Scared freezes up my brainpower and even if I know exactly what should come next, I don't write it. If I don't know what comes next, that suddenly becomes an ultra-handy excuse to let it go and hack away at something else while nibbling every now and then on the overwhelming, too long story. And I wonder why I've only ever finished one satisfactory novel. :shakes head ruefully at self:
There is no commitment to the abyss. It is like life, only visible one step at a time, and with infinite possibilities for continuing or coming to a satisfactory end. We live by moving forward. There is commitment once a story rears itself out of the abyss and shows its overall shape. Suddenly, I feel obliged to make the story fit that shape, reach that end satisfactorily. There's pressure.
I've been thinking about how to take that pressure back off. Cross your fingers for me or share your tips if you have any. It's time to throw a few stories back into the abyss.
Originally published at Liana Mir. You can comment here or there.
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Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-20 04:05 am (UTC)The way he cares about her is beautiful. Sad, but beautiful. The way he worries, the way helps her in whatever small way she'll let him...
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-21 05:50 pm (UTC)Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-21 11:52 pm (UTC)Well, okay, I'd like to see where he gets past her stubbornness or she lets him really help her, but yeah, more would be good.
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-21 11:59 pm (UTC)And I have not forgotten your Seven Days either. They're back in the percolator again, one first-drafted, the other just being... stubborn.
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-22 12:12 am (UTC)Well, I suppose the most important one is... Is she really going to die because of her abilities? It kind of sounded like that was what was ahead of her because she was filling up/running out of space, so... yeah... um... does she?
I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I'd forgotten. I can't remember what I asked for now.
(Oh, I mentioned your piece on the post I did about the song I prompted you with, here: http://kabobbles.com/helplessly-hoping/)
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-22 12:16 am (UTC)http://lianamir.com/seven-days To the left of the page.
Thanks for the mention!
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-22 12:23 am (UTC)Right. Those prompts. I shouldn't have forgotten.
You're welcome. It wasn't a very big one, but I couldn't talk about the song without mentioning what you'd written.
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-22 12:52 am (UTC)Re: Kingdoms and Thorn: Abyss Looking Back [2/2]
Date: 2013-05-22 12:59 am (UTC)Yeah, I'm not big on killing off mine, either. I've done it a few times, threatened to a lot, but I don't usually do it. It's hard to picture the death of someone that you know as well as a character, someone who is in a way a friend, though I admit sometimes death would be kinder than at least part of their backstory in some cases.
Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 01:19 am (UTC)Shift. The winds seemed to change with her moods.
She gave him a slight nod and dropped her empty coffee cup to the table. Her apron signified she worked there, but it was her absolute ruling demeanor that let him know he was on her territory, the real place she called her own. Even the top-ranked operative in the Department knew to tread with caution.
"Power outage?" she asked casually, a throwaway line, referencing last night's chance encounter at his girlfriend Mira's apartment. The question was direct and pointed: why are you here? how's my girl? is she hurting? what do you know? Dark eyes snapped back up to meet his.
Andre looked at Shift calmly. He sat down across from her. "Communications," he corrected evenly.
A long measured gaze, then another slight nod. "Always a lot of collateral damage when the Database goes down."
She shrugged and to an outsider—as he wasn't—it sounded like they were discussing the legendary law enforcement surveillance and tracking system several cities were known to make use of. To an insider—as he was—it was a bitter worry voiced that the special type human girl able to absorb another person's DNA was hurting and out of control.
Special type humans were dangerous when they lost control. A telekinetic could shred a skyscraper with a few thoughts, a few moments. A healer could melt down the genome of any organism they touched—or lose their life to another in an instant. A processor, like the Database, could cause untold damage by utilizing multiple powers all at once, and Shift had told him there was a reason for this collateral damage, a greater reason to worry.
"Will she die?" he asked quietly, with a shared history of understanding between them. How long ago had she asked him, “You lost everything you ever cared about?” Almost everything. He had lost his son.
Shift didn't move, but he knew his question shifted something inside of her as the space between them tensed and his instincts warned him she had gone predator. Her eyes looked up, the rest of her unmoved, and the fierceness in those eyes dared him to challenge her. "I never lose one of my own."
Watcher's words. Andre had to draw in a breath at that. He had known that quietly deadly one-time child soldier had essentially raised Shift, but he never imagined she had passed on her ruthless, brutal willingness to sacrifice anything, anything at all, for someone she loved. He had never imagined that Watcher would make a monster of a girl she had once protected.
"There will be a price to save her life, won't there?" he asked, voice still even, not betraying his sharp recoil. He was an operative. She was an operative. They were both the best of their kind.
Shift tilted her head and shrugged casually, all the tension gone with that flicker of casual slide into her Jennifer Haller role as she stood and straightened her apron. "Break's over," she replied flippantly. As if she had ever taken a break.
Andre stood, wondering what it was she would want of him, why she had brought this problem to his attention at all if she didn't want his help. Queen of the double entendre, he knew she meant her reprieve from her bloody work was at an end, and yet he wondered what price could save a woman whose very genes had turned against her. He had never known fear, but even he could almost feel it when he realized that no price was too high in Shift's eyes.
Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 01:31 am (UTC)I'm with Andre, scared of what Shift is willing to do.
Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 01:36 am (UTC)Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 01:38 am (UTC)Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 01:50 am (UTC)I'm not sure yet which approach I'm going to have to settle on for getting Rachelle patched up, so I'm not sure what the price is, but let me put it this way:
Watcher promoted Shift from 3rd rank to 1st when she left the team because she knew that Kilter wouldn't have been able to keep Shift from single-handedly destroying the Department. She let responsibility to take care of the team members do that.
The reason the teams finally rebelled as one against the Department and wrenched control of half the continent away from the Thorn Republic is because the Department was going to pull a 48 on Red Wolf and send an operative to kill him when he hadn't earned it even by their harshest standards. Whisper called in a favor Shift owed her.
Shift was the one that raised the rebellion, ran it, and cut such a swath of casualties into the Thorn Republic that they were willing to finally cut a deal.
So yeah. When Andre realized that someone who had successfully completed hundreds of missions that included almost every atrocity the Department could require of a person considered no cost too high, he was worried. And that too boils back to the same thing, though he never put two and two together.
All the operatives on Watcher's team got one exception, something they could say no to. Shift took her daughter. In exchange for the Department leaving her baby completely and totally alone forever, Shift had to do literally anything they asked of her. Let's just say that Shift is the most hated and respected operative ever. Those that really know why she is that way though often love her, even if they disagree emphatically with her methods.
Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 01:58 am (UTC)(for some reason, I kind of want to see where Whisper calls in that favor. Not sure why, but... um, we'll blame my mood)
Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 02:25 am (UTC)Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 02:45 am (UTC)You don't have to write it.
Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 03:10 am (UTC)Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-05-22 03:18 am (UTC)Re: Collateral Damage
Date: 2013-07-09 07:41 pm (UTC)