![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblemynameetchedinjade - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)etchedinjade - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)etchedinjade - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)scribblemyname - (no subject)timeasmymeasureforests_of_fire
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:31 pm (UTC)I have lost a friend
But for you, darling
I'd do it all again"
~St. Vincent, "New York"
Kingdoms and Thorn ficlet, Air + Shadow + Gloria, Team 14, Warnings: mentions of mind control
Date: 2017-10-08 07:38 pm (UTC)Gloria was one of theirs. Gloria had been Knot and Air's best friend since they were tiny children turned weapons in the belly of a Projects military base. Air never asked Shadow how close he was to Gloria personally, and there wasn't any way to know from his behavior, not when he never talked, but she didn't need to ask.
Gloria was her friend and he was Air's shadow, and they were all team. They didn't turn on each other. They protected their own. They didn't hover in aura's of their own power with radiant green eyes and turn their mind-reading abilities on the people they'd promised to never hurt or invade.
Air realized suddenly she was shaking, choking down air, she couldn't breathe and she wasn't sure she cared. She started to pitch forward, unable to hold herself up even enough to sit, but Shadow's arm suddenly tightened around her shoulders, leaning forward with her, her perfect shadow the way he'd always been.
But it wasn't physical, it was her heart beating out its breaking in his chest, and she suddenly pressed herself into his arms and actually clung to him like she almost never had to do.
She'd lost a team member, a friend— no, they had, and the misery dripped off them both.
"I hurt her," she gasped out abruptly, somehow eking the words around the wet lump in her throat. "I nearly killed her."
Air could kill, drop a person through the floor or ground and then turn them tangible again when they were well buried. It was horrible and horrific and she had nightmares from every time she'd done it and she'd never wanted to turn it on her own friends.
But Shadow just shook his head.
Gloria had hurt them.
Green eyes flashing, nightmares rearing to life behind their eyes in their imaginations, pain spiking through bodies too used to feeling it to stop. Gloria knew them all, too well, but then she'd done the unforgivable and taken control of Shadow's body, and Air snapped, breaking her own rules not to hurt her own for keeps.
She shuddered, finally spent, saying nothing and being heard all the same. I'd do it again. For you, I'd do it all again.
Re: Kingdoms and Thorn ficlet, Air + Shadow + Gloria, Team 14, Warnings: mentions of mind control
From:Re: Kingdoms and Thorn ficlet, Air + Shadow + Gloria, Team 14, Warnings: mentions of mind control
From:Re: Kingdoms and Thorn ficlet, Air + Shadow + Gloria, Team 14, Warnings: mentions of mind control
From:no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:32 pm (UTC)How can anybody have you and lose you?
How can anybody have you and lose you and not lose their mind, too?"
~St. Vincent, "Los Ageless"
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:33 pm (UTC)+ Person B knowing that they’re doing this but letting them anyway.
Aubrina and Dyre
Date: 2017-10-08 07:50 pm (UTC)Aubrina's eyes fluttered open, chasing away the remnants of the dream memory that had haunted her, and she bit back a moan, not wanting to give it any more power than it already had. She was tired of being trapped by her own past, though it was only now that she saw its hold for all it was, and for that she supposed she could blame him.
She shifted her head, casting her eyes across to the other chair where Dyre had awkwardly succumbed to his own fatigue. He was taking this protection thing too far, hardly ever leaving her side, but she would have gone insane without him, cracking under the weight of all the duty, the things she never wanted but could not escape.
Blaming him wasn't fair, though had she never worked with him, she might not have seen all of what she did for what it was. He'd shown her just how much she hid, calling them her layers and somehow managing to see past all of them.
She should hate him for that.
She closed her eyes again, knowing full well she didn't. Dyre was one of few people she knew that had no other motive in being with her, even if that motive was a case and not her company, and she knew he was trustworthy in ways no one else in her life had ever been.
She should tell him not to watch over her in her sleep, rare as it was, since he was always up too late waiting for her to rest first, and she couldn't always pretend to sleep to let him get any rest. She knew if she moved now, he'd wake. While on the one hand it would be good to get him out of that chair, he would not return to sleep if he knew she was awake, so he didn't get to know.
Everything else could wait a while longer. He needed his rest, and she'd already figured out that he slept better around her, probably only able to relax in doing that dutiful thing at her side. It should be irritating, but it wasn't.
She took some small comfort in it, even if she knew that it, like everything, would end soon enough. All of her freedom was as good as lost, and she would have to let him go back to the agency, since she'd picked him to restore it, not to babysit her.
She would be fine without him. Absolutely fine.
Re: Aubrina and Dyre
From:Re: Aubrina and Dyre
From:no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:33 pm (UTC)Zoya and Alexei
Date: 2017-10-08 10:46 pm (UTC)Zoya walked into the house, almost slamming the door shut in frustration. Sometimes she loved her job. Sometimes it was perfect, just what she needed, and she was good at it. Sometimes it wasn't. It was horrible, frustrating, and the worst possible role for someone who couldn't speak words everyone else understood.
Every time it was one of those days was worse than the last, it seemed, and she was tired of them. It wasn't just that she thought by now her coworkers understood and should have more patience, or even that she was mad about having some idiot demand to be called instead of emailed or something.
She hated feeling like she was being punished again for things that were not her fault.
She closed her eyes, and the smells from the kitchen came over her, making them open right back up again. She swallowed, crossing the front room to where Alexei was, hunched over a pot and very much in his own world.
She tapped him on the shoulder, and he looked up at her. “It's not ready yet.”
“You cooked.”
He frowned. “I'm not sure why that's such a surprise. I thought my official role around here was kitchen slave.”
She couldn't explain why it mattered, or even why she'd been so sure he wouldn't be here when she got home. He did keep threatening to leave, yes, but that wasn't all of it, and she didn't know why this simple gesture—something he always did, Alexei cooked, that was his thing—meant so much to her.
“Thank you.”
“Okay, that look says you need a very special dessert. What happened at work today? Was it bad? Or did they try and hassle you about your family again? Because if they did, I think we can set Khrystyn loose on them again. They probably even deserve it.”
Zoya almost laughed, stopping herself before she made that horrible choking noise she hated. “No. Leave Khrystyn out of it.”
“Only if you're sure. No one needs that kind of harassment.”
Zoya nodded. “What do you mean by special dessert?”
He smiled. “Nope, not telling. It'll be a bit of a surprise. You go ahead and... I don't know, shower and wash off the day, and when you get out, the food'll be done and I will have the extra special treat in the oven for you.”
“Why do that for me?”
He laughed. “Zoya, cooking is what I do. It's about the only way I've ever been useful. And I know you sometimes still get suspicious of what I make, but I promise you'll like it.”
She eyed the pot and him and twisted her lip. “That looks familiar.”
“It's a variant on something I made before, but you liked it, so it should be good,” he told her. “I'd almost guess it was a favorite of yours, but I'm not sure.”
She frowned again.
“That's not why I made it. I just wanted to try something new.” He started to fidget. “Would you just go so I can start on your secret but special dessert?”
She smiled, again tempted to laugh as she turned away. She might not have expected Khrystyn's brother to come into their lives or stay like he had, but one thing she wouldn't complain about was his cooking. It was, she thought, surprisingly nice to come home to, not that she'd ever admit it.
Re: Zoya and Alexei
From:Re: Zoya and Alexei
From:Re: Zoya and Alexei
From:Re: Zoya and Alexei
From:Re: Zoya and Alexei
From:Re: Zoya and Alexei
From:no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-09 05:03 am (UTC)Stone and Occie have Hope, but I can't see them talking about more like that. That's weird, isn't it?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:34 pm (UTC)Wisteria + Hayden
Date: 2017-10-10 03:56 am (UTC)“Why is it always the children?” Wisteria asked, not looking up as she combed through her brother's hair. Kasper slept on, unaware of her actions, his sleep that of the innocent, something Hayden knew neither of them were, not anymore. “Why are they always the ones who have to suffer? The ones who have some great place in a horrible scheme they have no hope of countering?”
Hayden knew she didn't want an actual answer to that. She wasn't asking him to give her the truths they already knew. She wasn't asking for comfort. She knew he had none to give. Their situation was past hope, and they both knew it.
She knew what she'd condemned this world to, and he knew what the world was now, and they both knew it was screwed.
“Children are easier targets. Some people try and tell them that they're the future. They can be anything, everything. Their potential is limitless,” Hayden said. “The reality is that they're vulnerable. Weak. Someone that can be used or exploited, someone willing to believe those lies about being anything or everything and saving the world. Adults, they know better. They know that's not possible. They're too smart to fall for those lies. No, it has to be a child. A child is not only stupid enough to believe, but they're easier to stop before they even start.”
Wisteria looked up at him. “How did he do it? How did he... destroy that much of you, twist you into something this bitter?”
“You already know the answer to that,” Hayden said. He killed you.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:35 pm (UTC)Dyre + Aubrina
Date: 2017-10-10 12:10 am (UTC)“Ugh,” Dyre muttered, wincing again and hating himself for it as the pain started again. His whole face ached, and he shouldn't have said anything. Talking hurt, and so did breathing. He swore he was never buying that brand again, even if they hadn't been the ones to leave that can in the alley for him to stumble over. He'd been spotted, and everything after that was completely predictable.
And painful.
“Are you whining?” Aubrina asked, crossing her kitchen to the coolant unit. She opened the door, reaching in to take something out of it. He didn't answer her, knowing there was no point in that. She'd twist anything he might say, and he hurt enough already.
He should have gone home, not let her bring him back here. He didn't even remember that conversation, though he doubted they'd had much of one. Aubrina tended to get her way unless it was something completely insane, which this wasn't. A bad idea, yes, but insane, no. He'd watched over her here when she was hurt. Her having him here made some sense, but he was already spending too much of his time here, reminding him of that awkward conversation a few weeks ago.
“Here,” she said, and he jerked back when something freezing touched his face. She laughed, and he forced himself to stay still as she held the ice against the welt on his cheek. “Whining does not become you, Detective Rymond.”
He glared at her, pushing her hand off to hold the ice pack himself. “You were a lot worse when I brought you home.”
“I was drugged, but even so, I know that's a lie. I did not whine,” she said. “I'll admit I said inappropriate things, but that is different. Go on. You take the chair bed. You look like you could use it, and I would much rather have my own bed.”
He eyed her, suddenly wondering what her bedroom looked like, and he shook his head, refusing to think too much about that. He didn't need to know. He might want the distraction from the pain and his stupidity, but he wasn't going to use that for it.
“Come,” she said, prodding him forward, out of the kitchen. She guided him over to the chair, and he sat down, his side throbbing where the other bruise was. “Stay.”
“You know I'm not a pet, right?”
She laughed. “No, animals would be cuter. And less useful. Go ahead and lie down. You don't have a concussion, so you should be fine to sleep.”
He nodded. He at least had that much, even if he didn't have any good reason for being caught or getting beat up and needing her to rescue him. “We should have talked to them, gotten statements, see if anyone knows where their cargo was really going.”
“They can sit overnight.” Aubrina took the chair next to him and sighed. “I'm more worried about the cargo.”
Dyre lowered his ice pack, turning to her. “How many more do you think we'll find before we actually stop these bastards?”
“I have no idea. If that woman is right, and they think they can get enough control in parliament to keep going, it won't end,” Aubrina said. She grimaced. “I'd almost be forced to take my family's seat just to oppose them.”
“Would you?” Dyre asked. “I know you hate politics, but when they're selling people—”
“If I had to, I would,” Aubrina told him. She closed her eyes, and he imagined she was picturing all that went along with that choice, none of it good as far as he could tell. He reached over and touched her hand.
“We'll arrest them first.”
She smiled at him tiredly. “We will. Get some sleep.”
He shook his head. That wouldn't happen. They hadn't prescribed him anything close to what she'd gotten, and he could feel everything. Not only that, but he remembered everything, every bad home and night of pain. “I think we need more information on Xav.”
“I am revoking your computer access here and now,” she said. “You're hurt, it was another bad night, and we are fortunate that most of those girls are just in the hospital overnight.”
“I can't sleep like this. I need to do something.”
“I could give you one of the pills they gave me and let you be the one to make inappropriate remarks this time.”
He laughed. “Maybe. Or you could just... stay here for a bit.”
“Naturally. I'd hate for you to wake up when that ice pack had melted and thought that was all your drool,” she told him, and he almost threw it at her when she laughed.
“Thank you,” he said, feeling awkward, and she frowned at him. “I think this is actually the first time I wasn't alone after taking a beating like that.”
“I should say something about your taste in company,” she told him, leaving her chair to come over to his. “And then I'd have to add in something about mine being the finest—people do actually pay ridiculous amounts to dine with me—and all the while you'd be shaking your head and wishing you'd never said anything.”
“I already do.”
“I know,” she said, pulling the lever that made the chair into more of a mattress. He fell backward onto it, torn between cursing her and an idea he knew would hurt but actually seemed almost worth it. He caught hold of her arm and pulled her down with him.
“So, when do you admit you actually got hurt in that little raid of yours?”
“I don't.”
He snorted. “I know you're trained, and you're good, but you are not invulnerable. At least one of your hands has to hurt. See? There. Scuffed knuckles and broken nails.”
She lifted up her hand. “Damn. That means I have to go to the salon tomorrow.”
“You're kidding.”
She shook her head. “Stupid charity function, as usual.”
He watched her. “Why go? If you hate them that much, why do any of it?”
She closed her eyes, looking like she might be more tired than he was and could drift off right where she was. “You know why. The charities, the money... it still has uses, and people still need it. I don't, though I spend it too much like I do. Food and clothes and every vice a woman like me should have but one.”
“Drugs?”
“I was going to say men, so I guess... two.”
He almost argued that with her, since she did have men trouble, just not in that sense. He'd dealt with her stalker himself. He didn't say anything, though, since he could tell she was just about out, and he didn't want to wake her. At least one of them should get some sleep.
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)Mainly that, though the rest of the verse is interesting, too:
"It's not your fault that I can't use words
Your eyes a force I can't fight
Never touching, they're dark as night
Holding on stranger I know I'm gone"
~Haerts, "Giving Up"
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:37 pm (UTC)things you said through your teeth
things you said too quietly
things you said over the phone
things you didn’t say at all
things you said under the stars and in the grass
things you said while we were driving
things you said when you were crying
things you said when i was crying
things you said that made me feel horrible
things you said when you thought i was asleep
things you said at the kitchen table
things you said after you kissed me
things you said with too many miles between us
things you said with no space between us
things you said that i wish you hadnt
things you said when you were scared
things you said when we were the happiest we ever were
things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear
things you said when we were on top of the world
things you said after it was over
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:38 pm (UTC)Except bury my love for you
I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice
To bury my love
— Moondust, Jaymes Young
Dillon on Larina
Date: 2017-10-09 12:54 am (UTC)Dillon never answered the phone, never made any effort to be the first to reach the handset. He didn't care if it would be for him—and most of the time it was, since it was someone calling about a horse, and he was the one that did the rehabilitation work now. He was the one they asked about the state of the horses or possible treatments, and he usually had answers, though he hated giving them. He would much rather not deal with any of their clients, only the horses, but they'd already found out how dangerous a bit of phone relay could be, when horses that shouldn't have gone home did and almost hurt themselves or their owners.
No, he had to take the calls.
He just... wouldn't. Not unless he had no other choice.
Though the calls were rare, every time the phone rang, there was a chance it could be Larina. He couldn't do it. He couldn't talk to her.
He wanted to hear her voice. He missed her. She still was the other half of his soul, and he didn't know how to live without her. He'd loved her before he understood what it was, and he didn't know that he would ever stop loving her.
He tried. He pushed forward every day, did his work, kept himself going, even when he didn't want to, when that empty place she'd always filled ached and made him wish he had never met her. He had to, had no other choice. He'd let her go, knowing that was what she wanted, knowing he couldn't keep her, and he'd done it out of love, but it never made it easier.
He missed her. He wanted to talk to her, wanted to hear her voice, wanted her to promise she was coming back to him and that all of this was a mistake, but she wouldn't.
So he didn't answer the phone. He didn't want to hear her voice, just went on with his day, burying his feelings down and pretending they didn't hurt as much as they did. He was almost used to it by now. He still carried the pain from his father's actions, and that never went away.
Neither did the ache of losing Larina.
Re: Dillon on Larina
From:Re: Dillon on Larina
From:no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:39 pm (UTC)It never ends till the end, then you start again
— Thumbs, Sabrina Carpenter
no subject
Date: 2017-10-08 05:39 pm (UTC)— Look What You Made Me Do, Taylor Swift